Exist

 From the same character in Differences and Indoors.

256 words

Exist

            He could hear their laughter. Sitting against his door he could tell Rose was having a good time. She’d been so cautious about the baby shower – wanting him on a good day when he didn’t transition. Devan promised to stay upstairs; Ivy had shot him a look, hoping to silently reiterate how he shouldn’t come downstairs.

            It was the first time he spoke so calmly to them both – Silas not rearing his head for once. Looking at his soon-to-be sister-in-law, he reassured her he would stay in his room, be quiet and pretend he didn’t exist.

            So here he sat, listening to their chatter and laughs. Earlier he had been lying at the top of the stairs, just hidden from view. With his eyes closed, he followed their conversations, sewing together the gossip. He wondered if this was how he would always be – if he would always be on the outside peering in. Devan always wondered what life was like inside the fishbowl. Ever since this started he had to observe everyone’s life at a distance. No one got close to him; even Charlie remained cautious, and they were brothers.

            Ivy had come upstairs, found him resting on the landing as the women talked below. She didn’t say the first retort that came to mind, but instead stood above him and stared, arms crossed. Within moments, Devan was up and retreating to his room.

            Sighing, he got up from the door and left his warm spot behind. He’d preoccupy himself – stay quiet, pretend he didn’t exist.